Visioning

The Gods have meant
That I should dance
And in some mystic hour
I shall move to unheard rhythms
Of the cosmic orchestra of heaven
And you will know the language
Of my wordless poems
And will come to me
For that is why I dance.

--- Ruth St. Denis

Remembrance

This past week has been exceptionally deep for me from conducting my own Living Funeral, to turning sixty six, the end of 32 years of marriage and then my final presentation for The Feminine in Alchemy. I feel emotionally drained,
sad, happy, scared and excited and more feelings that keep demanding my
attention. Holding the circle with everyone in class was so intense and I felt honored to have been a witness to each person’s life. Writing my own
obituary was tough and I was not sure I could actually deliver it.
Asking my family members to write
something in remembrance for me was difficult for them and only my daughter
offered as well my best friend and mentor. As I used my cards as a way to manage my emotions I listened to what I was saying about my life. So much love
and such a wonderful life unfolded as I spoke. Yet as I came to a close I knew in order to see the life unfold that I spoke of things would have to change. I
will have to use the courage I have within me to face the change that has to
happen for me to take steps to lead my life as a woman in full control of her
power. That means accepting the fallout that may happen and the wisdom to trust I can go through this.
As I work on my process piece for this week, I am going to reread Saying Yes to Calls to find inspiration for my visioning process piece. Also this week I have to
take the index cards and expand them into a document to put with papers for my
family to use when I actually do leave this earthly word. I wrote the following poem in between our presentations:

“Remembrance”
Memories, a time to sing
A moment to feel love,dreams
Untold until now, free to fly, move with the wind
Each one unique, gifts to share
Give to the universe
Open, longing, reaching
Life, laughter, a moment
Release from earthy bonds,
Soaring, going, going, going

After I read Daily Good:
Group flow: How teamwork can foster creativity, by R. Keith Sawyer a part of the article caught my attention and resonated with how I "feel" when I am in my flow at JFK: "Famed psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihaly coined the term “flow” to describe a particular state of heightened consciousness—what some people refer to as being “in the zone.” [. . .] at their peak when they experience “a unified flowing from one moment to the next [. . .] a loss of self-consciousness, and they get so absorbed in the task that they lose track of time."

During the time we have been in the flow to think about designing and creating our ritual my thoughts went back to my parents and their funerals I attended and took part in. I had thought at the time my pain of losing them would never stop, but then as I have moved forward on my journey the realization has come to me that they are still here within me, just not in the ordinary world. Their flow has shifted just as mine has and asking my kids to write their own remembrance of me has brought certain awareness to them of what we all mean to each other in the here and now in our "zone". My hope is that this will bring healing to my family over my separation and encourage them to cherish the time we have together in this lifetime by moving forward with more heightened consciousness.